Sarcastic Saturday – Morning!



Simple Food: Pan Rice


Pan Rice. My favourite ‘I can’t be arsed to cook’ meal.

Some people may know it as ‘Turmeric Rice’ or ‘Golden Rice’. There are loads of names for it. I call it Pan Rice because I am lazy and it’s made in a pan.

You can have it as a side dish, which is what most people do. But normally we have it with meat of some kind (BACON!) and it’s a simple meal on its own when we don’t have time or inclination to make anything better.
It also makes a good meal for taking to work for lunch during the week.


A pan with a fitting lid
a piece if kitchen foil (Silver foil?) big enough to cover the top of the pan.

300 g Rice (Long Grain or Basmati, whichever you prefer)
600 ml Boiling water
1 Veg Stock Cube (Or equivalent in boullion)
100 g Peas
100 g Sweetcorn
1 tsp Ground Cumin
1 tsp Tumeric
1 large or 2 smaller onions
1 Red capsicum
A small amount of oil for frying


Make up the stock.
If you are using frozen peas/sweetcorn make sure they are defrosted, drained and ready to drop in

Roughly chop the onions and the pepper and lightly fry them off in the oil for a couple of minutes. Then add in the rice and continue to fry for 2 mins, turning all the time. Be warned, it will stick quite quick if you stop!

Add in the peas, sweetcorn, Turmeric and cumin and gently stir. This will hiss like a bugger… Don’t worry, just keep stirring.

When the turmeric has been mixed in and the mix has turned a golden yellow you can add in the stock… Again, it will hiss… Just keep stirring.

At this point you should take a moment to scrape up any bits that have started to stick to the bottom of the pan. It shouldn’t have started to burn or anything yet so you will not be bringing up any mankiness.

Bring it back to the boil and simmer gently for 3 minutes. After 3 mins cover the top with the kitchen foil, turn off the heat, place the lid on, sealing it, and remove from the heat entirely and leave for 20 mins. DO NOT LIFT THE LID IN THAT 20 MINS! The steam trapped inside will continue to cook the rice.

Lift the lid, stir well and serve.


While this is a meat-free dish, I often add in bacon, just add it at the start to fry it off, you may need a little more oil.

You can increase or decrease the amount of rice by simply making sure the amount of water (in ml’s) is double the weight of rice (in g’s)

Add in chilli flakes to give it some bite.

Something To Listen To

I’m a big one for music. But, although I do sing, a lot… And very badly… I do prefer instrumental music.

So, 3 pieces of instrumental music for you. 2 are classical pieces you may well know, one is Psychedelic Rock that you probably don’t. B-)

Valse Triste РSibelius 

Johann Strauss – Radetzky March

And my favourite musical track of all time.
Ozric Tentacles – Kick Muck

First Post Shenanigans!

This is the post excerpt.

This is the first post in my new blog.

FAIR WARNING… This is NOT my gardening blog. This is *MY* blog… It’s about me, my life, my crap and all the various levels of stupidity I manage to survive on my way from waking to snoring. Maybe also some comments on the crap I dream about too.

Some things to note…

There will be swearing. Not overmuch… But it will happen.

There will be things you do not like or agree with. This is fine.

If you feel I have something wrong DAMN WELL TELL ME!

At some point I may need to mark this blog as mature. (No porn though)

You have the right to stop reading or un-sub from this blog.

There will be YouTube links, stupidity, rantings, ravings and me abusing the common ellipsis like nothing you have ever seen before… <- See? 5 times already in this post! O.O

I do not like cats. I do not like dogs. I do like fish, but not on my plate.

I will be posting pictures of my food on occasion.

I can cook, but I have the strange ability to only be able to make food LOOK good or TASTE good… Not both. If it looks good then it will taste like crap… You can guess the rest. >.>

There will be other things I have yet to think about .

This is not an exhaustive list.

Above all. I am an idiot.